Lou Reed canceled a performance at Coachella cryptically citing “unavoidable complications.  As it turns out Lou Reed had to undergo a liver transplant and is now recovering nicely.

I think many people, including myself  think of Lou as humorless.  This perception is based on 45 years of music featuring characters of  debauchery, depravity and a general hatred of mankind.

Vicious from Transformer

I’m sure he’s a fine upstanding citizen but  it’s nice that The Onion  goes to extremes to show the humor of Lou Reed.  Enjoy!

Song About Heroin Used To Advertise Bank

“Perhaps Lou Reed put it best when he said, ‘Heroin will be the death of me / It’s my wife, and it’s my life.’ For Reed, life and love become the same as death, and this ‘living death,’ if you will, really resonates with the American buying public in a deep and powerful way.

First Aid Tips:

In the event of accidental drug overdose, call Lou Reed immediately.

• Dexedrine: While this simple medication of pure amphetamine continues to effectively treat ADHD and narcolepsy, it also caused 47 percent of patients in clinical trials to stay awake for five straight days listening to Lou Reed’s Berlin over and over

Report: $14 Trillion Spent Annually On Trying To Look Cool

“This is in contrast to, say, [musician] Lou Reed, who spent just $11 on looking cool in 2009 and remains as cool as they come.”

New Chemical Weapon ‘Ennui Gas’ Induces Listlessness, Dissatisfaction With Life

Recently disclosed Pentagon documents indicate that the gas has a dissemination radius of four to eight miles, and that neither protective masks nor a positive outlook on life can prevent infection. Symptoms include uncontrollable sighing, repeated utterances of the phrase “What’s the use?” a confusion and bitterness regarding one’s place in the universe, and an increased proclivity to listen to Lou Reed records.

Horoscope

Pisces The judge will declare a mistrial in your capital-murder case, not for any legal reason but out of a desire to listen to Lou Reed’s Mistrial.

New Liver Complains Of Difficulty Working With Lou Reed

NEW YORK—Just weeks after being transplanted into Lou Reed’s abdomen, a 3.5-pound donor liver voiced complaints to reporters Monday about the difficulty of working with the “temperamental” rock legend. “It’s really hard to get along with Lou—one minute he’s your best friend and the next he’s outright abusive,” said the vital organ, describing its ongoing collaboration with the former Velvet Underground frontman as “strained at best.” “He just has this way of making you feel completely inadequate. I can tell he doesn’t respect me at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s already thinking about replacing me.” The liver admitted it was considering ending its detoxification sessions with the 71-year-old recording artist and just letting him synthesize proteins and digestive biochemicals on his own.

Area Man Seated Next To Lou Reed On Roller Coaster